Shadow of gloom in his eyes
Irritation run through a moment of frown
I feel an impulse to clear them off
Is it mother instinct which I never had a chance to exercise?
Or is he my taste?
I would dive into the floor only if I could wipe them off
The last man I loved was 10 years older
A decade later, I started to develop interest in younger men, the son’s generation
Two decades later, now I am in love with a young man,
close to the grand-son generation
It doesn’t matter whether I have him or not
What’s important is "I am feeling of liking"
And, I wish his happiness
To have sex, to live together
I don’t need the ordinary life
Because I don’t necessarily dislike solitude or am afraid of it
Besides, now is my "hey day" of discretion
The "liking" feeling will amplify my energy
I became old while unfinished tasks still piled up
To my old being,
I want nothing but the amplification of energy
"LOVE" is what? I wonder
I love someone who gives me what I want
Just like a baby loves a mother, who is necessary for his survival
I don’t need this so-called social life
I don’t need to impress others
I have enough mental treasures
I have enough money
At this old age, all I need is an enhancement of my energy
When I encounter something beautiful,
I get energy
When I am deprived of it, I get hurt.
Then, I would reverse the negative feeling into positive energy like a hybrid car
Above all, I appreciate that I still have tender feelings
to appreciate beautiful things,
and I have found something as beautiful as its absence causes me sorrow
for James 8/19/2013