First, why have we human beings distorted our Pleasure Principle?
By-product of Delayed Pleasure Principle:
Evolution of human beings can be summarized as one sentence. The more they became smarter than any other creatures, the more they exercised delayed pleasure principle.
Any living being regulates their life by following “the Pleasure Principle.” Seek the pleasure and avoid the pain. For example, a monkey seeks a banana when it gets hungry pursuing pleasure. If he senses danger, a predator coming, he will run away to avoid the pain, in this case, death. This is a simple pattern of behavior following the pleasure principle. All living creatures also exhibit the delayed pleasure principle. Suppose the same monkey finds a banana while he is sensing the danger of predator, he will control his wanting a banana (delay immediate Pleasure), to avoid greater pain-death. Some monkeys use stones to crack hard shells to eat seeds. That is also the delayed pleasure principle. To find the tool and use the tool is not immediate pleasure but the means to get food, the pleasure. Our ancestors came a long way from the Stone Age to the contemporary civilization. Civilizations can be summarized as the products of delayed pleasure principle. In order to execute delayed pleasure principle EFFICIENTLY, ECONOMICALLY, Less PAINFULLY, human beings have developed cultures to govern behaviors by reasons suppressing feelings. Sure, it is a very EFFICIENT mechanism. But we have to pay the DUES for that EFFICIENT mechanism. What are the DUES? The DUES are the accumulated and compounded suppressed feelings, which individuals have been disassociating, no longer capable of feeling or locating, become the causes of physical and mental illness, disorder and disease. Distortion of the Original Sound Pleasure Principle is the By-product of Delayed Pleasure Principle.
Pioneered by Sigmund Freud, psychoanalysis, the movement to dig out the buried feelings had started. By identifying what is lying underneath our conscious level, the problem may be found and the remedy to reduce the problem, if not cure, may be found. Just finding out what was there and being able to be aware of those feelings, loads get lighter.
This theory is to advocate, “Don’t let the Pleasure Principle mess up. Restore the healthy P.P. (Pleasure Principle).” We must prevent the problems of human disorders by restoring “Healthy Pleasure Principle.”
Essential Elements to foster “Healthy Pleasure Principle”
1. Acquire “Secondary Drives in early stage Learning” accompanied with Self-esteem:
For instance, toilet training. Instead of immediate pleasure of releasing, a child has to learn to control and use potty for obtaining delayed pleasure, being praised by his mother, “Good Boy.” Being supported by his loving mother, he develops his self-esteem, self-love, “I’m a good boy,” he would learn to like to use potty, the delayed pleasure associating with his self-esteem. If the child has the good start of developing high self-esteem, his life would be easier to incorporate good values into his system and easier to maintain the sound pleasure principle, simply he feels pleasure in acquiring new necessary learnings. If he could internalize the good behavior, say, using potty, he would like to use potty, which generate the secondary drive, “I want to do.” Therefore, the child can use potty following pleasure principle. But, if parents’ figures are not supportive but rather critical, the child would end up with low self-esteem, I’m a bad boy and cannot control. He would learn to suppress his bad-boy, wetting pants, by learning to use potty, as a negation of bad boy. If the parents give too much “No, no”, the child does not have time to incorporate good values into his system. He would develop the pattern of behaviors, “Not to do this, and that” instead of “It’s good not doing this, and that”, or better yet, “I like Not doing this, and that.” The current trend in education field, “how to raise and educate children is corresponding with this theory.” Instead of criticizing or punishing the bad behaviors, to praise and encourage the good aspects are advocated. By doing so, it is to enhance self-esteem of children, which will be the power-house to incorporate the good values and behaviors, to let them feel, “I want to learn that value, that skill, that behavior,” instead of being forced to learn things dutifully. So basically the most important factor, to maintain and/or restore “healthy Pleasure Principle,” is to cultivate self-esteem (self-love is equivalent) which motivate individuals to internalize good values, activities, into their system, to the extent that they feel “pleasure, liking.” Those internalized values and behaviors generate “Secondary Drive”, therefore they just follow the pleasure principle, do as they feel like, yet they have no problem. Being able to follow “Pleasure Principle,” love to act out good values and behaviors, their self-esteem will be enhanced. Self-esteem and the secondary drives, derived from internalized good values, are reciprocally enhanced by each other.
To grow up to be a competent member of the society, we have to learn so many things. If we can find the pleasure in this learning process, our life will be easier and our pleasure principle will be maintained healthy.
Even if one was not lucky to have good parent figures, one can always start enhancing own self-esteem, self-love by believing in own religion. Believing that Being blessed by own God, one can start on the path to a healthy life. One is being loved and approved by his God, one can foster own self-esteem. Now a day, not many people believe in any religion. To the extent that people become disaffected from religions, the chance to cultivate self-esteem by believing own God become scarce. We desperately need the alternative paradigm which is available to all human-beings to cultivate self-esteem. If one no longer believes in any religion, one can still believe in oneself and to strive to be approved by oneself instead of approved by others. Those who believe in God communicate with his God through his heart not anybody else’s heart. By same token, if one strives to be approved by his heart, he ought to become honest and conscientious. Because it is hard to deceive own heart just as much as hard to deceive his God. Being approved by himself, he feels great and his self-esteem will be cultivated. If one regulates his behaviors and his values to be approved by his heart, one tends to be conscientious and honest. Because it is difficult to deceive oneself.
2. All Feelings must be acknowledged, hopefully expressed to maintain “Healthy Pleasure Principle: In almost any culture, we are expected to govern ourselves by reason controlling over feelings. For efficiency, we have developed layers of inhibitions over the feeling level and senses. Some of us cannot feel anger, cannot cry. Some of us are super nice (superficially) then do vicious conducts covertly and or develop some type of sickness.
We are supposed to be thirsty when we need water. Obviously some of us does not have that basic survival function to feel thirsty when we need water. Our respectable doctors advise us as the matter of fact, “Drink a lot of water not to be dehydrated.” Newscasters also repeat the same phrase when we have hot days. Obviously intellectual authorities are taking it for granted that the pleasure principle mechanism in human beings is no longer functioning.
We even have a proverb, “You can pull the horse to the bucket, but cannot force it drink.” Human beings are also animal. We ought to feel thirsty when we need water. We should have dignity to refuse to drink when we do not feel thirsty. Our respectable intellectuals without any embarrassment declare, “Eat this and that with low calories, then you don’t get fat.” Are you kidding? We all know and experience that some get fat some don’t get fat eating same thing. Obviously intellectual authorities are deeply convinced that we human beings must not eat what they feel hungry for because our pleasure principle mechanism are no longer working. This theory is to oppose to contemporary remedies to health problems. This theory is to help individuals to restore healthy pleasure principle mechanism by reviving feeling level, waking up senses in the process of stripping off the layers of inhibitions, strengthening ego-control power above all enhancing power-house SELF-ESTEEM.
In any culture, certain feelings are labeled as “bad” and people are forced to suppress them to be accepted in the given society. For instance, “anger” is considered to be bad and expressing anger is offending behavior in many cultures. But from the point of view respecting human’s health as an organism, any feeling should be let out. Any feeling should be entitled to be acknowledged and hopefully expressed. If it is easy, first of all, we never have to suppress them. Yet it is very important for us to be healthy human-beings. Expressing our feelings is our responsibility. Whether expressing anger or not, that is the question. To be brave to express it, one has to be sure that he is right in order to put up with other’s resentment or to avoid the aftermath to feel, “I shouldn’t have done that.” To have reliable judgment, we have to make sure our values, belief, knowledge is trustable to us. Because our judgment will be made based on all assets in our mentality.
Suppose one does not have an internalized value, “I like to admit my fault.” He may get mad if someone pointed out his mistake even as well-meant advice. After he expressed his anger, he may learn to internalize the value, “I should admit my fault.” Then in the future, he may not feel angry in the similar situation, even though he may feel uncomfortable or humiliating. He would just suffer through that feeling and determine not to repeat the same mistake.
3. Basic Values:
What are the basic values underlying “restoration of sound pleasure principles?”
Before that, we have to ask, “Why we distort the pleasure principles?” Because it is easier and practical NOT to feel (painful) to conform to acceptable behaviors at the expense of falsification. So, the very basic value underlying “restoration of sound pleasure principles” is to rip off the falsification, to respect “What is True”, “What is Real”. We all must sort out all own knowledge and values to evaluate if they are real and/or worthy to us. If yes, we have to acquire values as “real” by 3 steps; knowing the value, believing it and practicing (acting out) it. Just knowing is not the true knowledge, believing and practicing, or generating belief by practicing, or making it habit, will generate “secondary drive” to it. That is the true knowledge.
- Basic Prohibitions:
“Thou shall not kill.”, “Thou shall not steal.”, etc. Those basic prohibitions should not remain as “should not do.” It should be incorporated into one’s mentality as “I like not killing.”, “I like not stealing.” When you ask yourself, “Do I like to kill?”, most likely you will feel, “I like not to kill.”, “I like not to steel.” If you feel, “I like to kill or I like to steal.”, or any other acts prohibited by law or social norms, which you consider undesirable, then you must decide whether you stay as you are or quickly and completely internalize the basic ethics to be able to feel, “I like Not to—-“, prior to committing to this theory, “Restoration of Sound Pleasure Principle”.
5. Basic values to be incorporated into belief systems:
The meaning of one’s life is self-realization to do what one wants to do, develop own potentials as much as one want. To regulate oneself to be approved by own self not by others.
Acknowledgement of all feelings There is no bad feeling or good feeling. Anger, hostility, sadness, lament, joy and love, all of them are feelings, that we human beings ought to be able to at least acknowledge them and hopefully express them within own responsibility.
Absolute and total responsibility for own existence, acts, behaviors, decisions, values and knowledge. If you don’t believe any religion, you are the sovereign of yourself. If you believe in any religion, only your God, not minister, nor anybody, is sovereign to you. You follow and obey what your God directs you within your responsibility, the consequence of your believing is all your responsibility not that of anybody else. Whether you believe or not in any religion, all responsibility is yours, you are effectively sovereign of yourself. What you sense as your God’s will is the same thing as what is your will. Because you perceive your God in you not in anyone else.
.Since you are the sovereign of yourself, you MUST be able to make best available decisions. In order to do so, you must value authenticity and truth, which may inherently be subjective, yet try to incorporate it with objective authenticity and truth. Because it is very tough to stick to what you believe
right being alone against the others’ disapproval. To be able to sustain oneself alone, you must be able to believe that you are absolutely right. We should relate ourselves to Galileo Galilei who said, “Yet the earth will rotate.”, when Catholic Authority condemned his theory, the heliocentric theory. To be able to be 100% correct all the time, one must readily admit own fault, incorrectness or mistake and correct them immediately. In that way, one can maintain oneself correct all the time, though in strict sense, “true subjectively”.
Re-examine all your belief, value and knowledge and discard what you don’t want to own: Since you have to rely on yourself to make any decision, whatever you own, knowledge, values, belief, must be trustworthy, real and true for you. Because these will affect your decision. In order to exercise the best judgment, one has to acquire the true knowledge. True knowledge consists of three dimension, knowing, believing and practicing. For an instance, you know, “exercise is good”. You like it (equivalent to believe it) and like to practice it. Another example, you know, “prejudice is bad,” you feel “prejudice is bad”, and “you discipline yourself not to do so”, practice it.
Exercise to be aware of all feelings you are experiencing: One must be aware of all feelings one is experiencing. For example: at the moment you step in the grocery store, you may feel chilly, hear crying baby, smell of strong perfume annoying, notice bunch of red roses in the vase bright and lovely. Just to be aware of what you are feeling, just to feel them are good exercise to revive sound feeling level. Even if one chooses not to express a given feeling, just to recognize it is closer to dissipate it. The more the conscious and unconscious level of one’s mind is lucid, the more genuine feeling will emerge in conscious level and more sound pleasure principle will be exercised. As we experience, “If something hanging in our mind, we cannot feel much, we cannot be as observant as otherwise.” Analogous is that we can see scenery vividly in the clear air. By practicing being aware of all feelings and sensation, smell (good or bad) sound (good or bad) what you are feeling in your body and mind, your ego-function get stronger. Just like the boss, who used to be managing 10 employees, now manages 100 employees. He gets more work force. He gains more decision making power.
Try to be Real Self: Try to reveal yourself as you are. Tell and show others as you really are as much as you want to do so. More so, don’t pretend to be better than you really are. Don’t present fabricated your image to impress others. Something you feel is not presentable, change or improve them to be able to show. Something you cannot change or improve, you accept them as part of you. Then basically you can be yourself, without pretending to be better than you are. You end up really good person and a very relaxed healthy person. Because you don’t have to be constantly on guard not to show bad side of you. You become much healthier. You become transparent and be able to detect others’ distortions very well. You have less chance to be deceived or manipulated.
Dumping Off the Load of Unexpressed Feelings: If you cannot express your anger to your boss, or any heavy load of emotion, you can go to the psychotherapist and dump the load off. Or just go to the ocean or open space and shout out what you have accumulated in your system. That would give you temporary relief. Better than nothing.
Exercise to do “as I feel like it.” For not so important matter, such as “which way shall I take to go there.”, “What shall I wear to go there.”, “What shall I eat for lunch.”, you can use your feeling to decide. By exercising letting your feeling be the decision maker frequently for trifle issues, one can gradually strengthen the ability of feelings to make decisions (not only on minor unimportant issues but also for all including major matters.) which we call “intuition” under which reasons are mere one of alternative values to choose from.
Strengthen the ability to feel through feelings, emotions: When you are sad, you feel through sad feeling. If you are angry, you feel through the angry feeling. Being able to experience through negative feeling (which is harder than negating it), one gets stronger to feel through. That ability to feel through negative feelings will be generalized. When one enjoys something, music or any pleasurable activity, you will be able to feel stronger. Your enjoyment will be amplified. Since you reduce inhibition, you get sensitive over all. You don’t need drugs to get high, which basically functions to disinhibit individuals. Being able to feel through feelings, especially negative ones, you bound to develop stronger ego-function, which enable you concentrating on feelings, sensations. For instance, if you are listening to the music, being able to concentrate on listening, you feel music intensified, amplified, experiencing, “I become the music. The music becomes myself.”
Tolerance of lonely feeling: Since the rest of the world remain as it is as you were part of them before, now, you would find yourself alone. This is the HARDEST part of the realization process. It has to be totally only your satisfaction not to be able to share same values with others (unless you find someone who shares the subject values with you) and accept others who have fundamentally different values. This practice is very effective to utilize for coping with peer-group pressure to smoke, do drug, drink alcohol. When you become a whistle-blower, or you are falsely accused, this tactic will support you to keep you sound, sane. Above all, if you learn to tolerate lonely feeling, you will be liberated from absurd conduct of following the crowd just to avoid feeling lonely.
Accepting oneself different from others:
This is the most difficult yet most necessary discipline needed for the contemporary peoples who are expected to have autonomous personality capable to enjoy freedom of choice and to take responsibility of own choice.
If one can be satisfied with own value without being approved by others, one can accept others and get along them. For instance, the more strongly you believe in certain value, the more strongly intolerant you become to others who oppose to it. Because you feel it threatening your value. But if you discipline yourself to be satisfied with your value as your own, you would be able to accept others who have different values. This is the discipline of “separating self and others” much needed to the contemporary peoples. Human-beings are originally herd animal. But fortunately or unfortunately human-beings have developed the societies to respect individualism, to require autonomous personality. We owe to shed off “herd instinct” to be competent members of contemporary civilization which encourages freedom of choice and individualism. This can be generalized to collective bodies. Alas, only if each religion ever discipline themselves to respect own absolute truth as own subjective truth, they will open the door to accept others who value their own subjective absolute. This is the discipline to ease the ever-lasting fights caused by the differences of religious beliefs.
Hypocrisy is vice in this theory:
Hypocrisy occurs when one exhibits his behaviors just to be approved by others without his genuine feeling. Therefore, hypocrisy is number one vice for this theory to pursue genuine feelings.
Decision maker is yourself:
However, if one forced oneself to choose the genuine alternative, then it is no longer genuine own choice. Suppose you witness the hit and run. You think that you should help the victim. But, you don’t feel like doing so, then you don’t. Then you just acknowledge that that cowardliness is yours. You wanted to protest to your boss for the unfair treatment. But you are afraid of losing your job. Then don’t. If you force yourself to express genuine feeling, then it’s no longer your choice. Just identify with keeping your job and suffer through angry feeling (instead of suppressing it.) Let your anger out by shouting your boss in your car while you are going home.
After a while, you will be able to act out as you feel like it. You will find no problem with doing so. It’s a thrilling and confident feeling. Reasons why you feel to do so can be found in you as this and that. Yet, those reasons would be only explanation of why and what you felt so, not cause.
What are the merits?
Basically you can live, act, as you feel like it. It is very thrilling and carefree feeling. Of course, sometime you have to do something against your feeling but as exceptions. Because once you have incorporated basic values into your system, you automatically or even with pleasure you would exercise them. Therefore, while you are acting as you feel like, you would not have any problem. If you find you have made a mistake, you already have incorporated the value to admit your own fault and to correct it, you end up all the time you are correct. You can feel sure about yourself. You can get solid confidence based on all values which you acknowledge as valid. It is a thrilling feeling to bravely discard some values prevailing in the society, which you used to lukewarmly accept before, which you now evaluate as having no merit. For instance, you used to follow the new fashions rather faithfully to be accepted by the trend. Now you may end up discarding that value and you would choose to dress as you really like. Since inhibition on overall senses are removed substantially, your feeling levels are intensified, and you may feel more of the pleasant and unpleasant, you may smell more of good smells and bad ones, you may see more observantly, you may hear more amplified. Whole world would be exhaustingly stimulus. But, gradually you will develop stronger ego to be able to feel through volume up stimuli.
If you are artist, you have already accomplished at least some of above disciplines. By practicing this discipline, one can strengthen keener sensitivity and can create genuine artistic expression whatever the form it may take. Essentially artistic activity is to express genuine self on any form of the art. Just like you see the ocean so blue in the clear transparent air, you will be able to experience and express your genuine self. To the extent the inside of the self is clear, the genuine self will bloom into the artistic form.
This is the survival measure to live in this contemporary society, chaos, full of contradicting information and values. Now, we cannot rely on anything. Government? School? Religion? We have to be a sovereign of ourselves to be aware of all possible alternatives and to choose own choice. It is very secure feeling to be able to feel, “I am a master of myself.”
In short, whether you subscribe this theory or not, you have to live in this society. In order to survive in the same society, you will face same amount of situations you have to be polite, generous, forgiving, accepting. Before you would have complied to do as you were supposed to do so not necessary with genuine feeling all the time. But, after subscribing this theory, you would end up more moralistic or ethical genuinely.
Golden Rules:
Higher the self-esteem possessed, more the good values internalized, more freely one is able to act out as one feels. Three elements are reciprocal.
Afterword:
I am a 77 years old woman who will have 50 year anniversary since I came to Los Angeles. Above theory, rather self-learned philosophy, was inspired and mentored by late Dr. Leonard I. Schneider, while I am totally responsible for the content. I took his counseling classes in 1970 – 1971 and continued our platonic love to seek his philosophy until his death in 1997. I have been practicing the above theory for 46 years. More precisely, the above theory was written out of my incessant seeking to be a real self, human-being. Now I am enjoying very elegant satisfying retirement life. Practically I lead my life as I feel. I say as I feel. Hearing my voice, I realize that that is what I wanted, that is what I am thinking, that is what I am feeling. I have nothing to hide. Nor I am afraid of saying or doing anything bad. I am spontaneous. I take ballet class 5 days a week. Not only mentally healthy but physically healthy. I have been satisfied with practicing my theory for my satisfaction only. But on this 50 year anniversary of my life in USA, I would like to share my theory with others.
The purpose of this writing is to present something important to this and future generations in atonement for me of not leaving any descendant.
2016