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HALF CENTURY IN AMERICA

I have been choosing harder ways all my life…

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    • 'It's me!' – Self-publishing 1988
      • – About Me
      • 1. Poems Written in Japan 1963-1965
      • 2. Poems Written as a Fresh off the Boat 1966-1970
      • 3. Poems presented to Dr. Schneider 1970-1979
      • 4. Poems Written during a Transitional Stage and after my "Schneider" Stage 1975-1987
      • 5. TANKA (Poems in 31 Japanese syllables) 1965-1987
      • 6. Words for Songs 1966-1968

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  • American Life
  • ballet
  • Homosexuaality
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  • My Philosophy
  • My value

1. Poems Written in Japan 1963-1965

  • A LITTLE WATCH
  • MUSIC
  • IN VAIN

A LITTLE WATCH

At that time, I first learned how to tick time away.
On the chest of that man,
to his tempo,
beating as fast something about to break,
as silent as something about to die.

I was pulled around by his fickle tempo,
exhausted, and worn out.
And that man threw me away like trash.

Covered with dust, I stopped ticking.
This is the man who picked me up,
taught me again ho to tick time away.

In his warm bosom,
I have been leading a routine life,
ticking time away 24 hours a day.
“It is better this way. This is my destiny, my duty.”

But, I sometimes daydream…
That gasping, that thrilling, that throbbing…
“Once again, I wish I could breathe on his chest,
at his tempo!”

In an emptiness of transition from today to tomorrow.

1963

MUSIC

Even a plain instrument,
even a precious instrument,
it will be awakened to its own life,
only when it gets a good player.

Being embraced in his broad breast,
being played by his delicacy,
it will first listen to its own music.

“Oh! Such a beautiful music can be drawn out of me!”
Once it hears charm of herself, it will never forget it.

“Once again I want to hear that music again.”
It will pine for the player, magic hands.

1963

IN VAIN

Ever since the God blew his breath over me,
I have grown up so big,
absorbing both beauty and dirty in this world.

Soon, I started wondering,
“Who is the man one of whose ribs I was made of?”
I started looking around, longing for my old nest.

There were some times I got exhausted
   chasing mirages.

There were occasions to moisten my thirst
   at the temporary oasis,
which I well knew was not my old nest.

At the age of 26, now,
I happened to have met you.
Look! How big have I grown as one of your rib bones.
I try in vain to return to my old nest, your ribcage,
which I finally found after a long journey.

Today, too,
I repeat efforts in vain,
to melt in yourself.

1965

© 1963-2025 Toshiko Honda