in 2021
I, Toshiko Honda, am now 82 years old. Time flies without accomplishing what I want to do, leaving me behind. Yet, I just finished editing my writings up to recent and put them on this website. The Japanese version is not yet ready. But I want to share my writing up to now with my friends and the public. I will continue writing more. Please give me your feedback, how you feel about my writing.
in 2016
Toshiko Honda, I am a 77 years old Japanese woman who had 50 years anniversary since I came to Los Angeles on August 24, 1966. Please read “About me” in “It’s me!” the poem collection self published in 1988, up to that date. Since then, I continued to enjoy working for the real estate business. In January, 1999, I happened to watch the documentary of Sylvie Guillem on PBS. That was a big turning point for me. “There exist at least one real human-being in this world!” I declared. That was two years after I lost my mentor, Dr. Leonard I. Schneider who passed away in 1997, who had inspired me to be a real human-being. At that time I was feeling very lonesome and filling my empty life with being busy, working. I felt like finding the light of hope in my life. I started to follow her performances in Japan, London, Paris and New York, while downsizing my business. In the meantime, I started to take ballet class for my retirement exercise. I established the Petit Oasis Foundation to award scholarship money to boys who want to be ballet dancers. We just had our 10th anniversary.
Commemorating my 50 years in America, I want to publish my writing on a web-site. Basically I want to share my theory, “Realization of real human-beings by restoring the sound pleasure principle,” with the young generation. My writing in 1970 and after is all underlined by my theory, which I established in 1976 and have been exercising all through my life and edited just recently. You would find a big difference in my writings in 1970 and after, compared with those of 1969 and before.
But the truth in my heart, I wish that I can find the person(s) who have my same values and are practicing them. So far I know, Sylvie Guillem and Alessandra Feri are the role models of my theory. Though they are genius and learn and established real self by themselves, I am sure there must be some who are ordinary persons like me, yet real person. Please read my theory to find out, “What is a real person.”
in 1988
I, Toshiko Honda, was born in Japan in 1939. After graduating Aoyama Junior College, I had worked for Japan Airlines as a stewardess for five years. At the age of 27, I started to attend Santa Monica City College, from where I transfered to California State University of Los Angeles, where I encountered my destiny, Dr. Schneider, a professor of Psychology who also happened to be Psychological Therapist, to whom I devoted the deepest adoration for his authentic intellectual capacity as well as genuine personal qualities. I experienced a “rebirth” with him in his class. Besides, I fell in love with him so madly. I pressed him incessantly, “Love me or reject me.” His reply was consistent, “No. I don’t reject you. But, what you want is different from what I want. I just want to talk with you once in a while to see how you are doing.” Against my will, I had to restrain my love as a Platonic one so painfully. Being unable to obtain what I want, yet unable to get involved with any other man, I have suffered a lot from pain and loneliness for a long period of time. To survive, I gradually incorporated the personality qualities which I wanted from him into myself. Then, I gradually began to face the world on my own. Today, if I have any value, virtue, philosophy, personality and confidence, I am deeply indebted to Dr. Schneider. Meantime, I obtained a BA in Psychology from Cal State LA in 1972 and a MA in Social Psychology from Cal State Northridge in 1976. After working as a bilingual social worker for several years, I went into the field of Real Estate Investments. Now, I have been working with Fred Sands Realtors as a Real Estate Salesperson for over seven years.
I began to write poems when I was about eight years old. Many of them just disappeared like old clothes or childhood books. The poems in this collection were the ones which I happened to keep until now. The earliest poem coincided with the time when I shed my virginity. Since then, most of my poems are romantic love poems. Unintendedly this collection can symbolize the history of my loves. Some I wrote in Japanese and then I translated into English. Some I wrote in English, then translated into Japanese. I have two cultures in me. I wanted to have my poems read by both of my peoples, with the American mentality as well as the Japanese mentality.
I have often contemplated the publication of a collection of my poems. This time, I finally made it, I am glad. This is one of a few projects I want to accomplish before my menstruation will be over. I hope this is the good start of accomplishing all of my projects one after another all in due time.